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Talking about feelings

We all have feelings. Feelings are there to help us - they tell us when things are going well and we are happy, excited, or proud. However, feelings also show us when things are not so good and we are angry, scared, or worried.

Talking about feelings can be difficult. Sometimes we don't know how to say how we feel, or we worry about what the other person might think. You may feel uncomfortable talking about how you feel or think that other people should already know how you feel.

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Talking about feelings is very okay. Talking about our feelings helps us feel close to the people who care about us. It helps us work through our worries and adapt better. Putting our feelings into words can also help us control ourselves better when we are angry or upset.

When you know how you feel, it's easier to talk about it. Spend time alone sometimes to think about how you feel. Also, try to name the feeling. Are you happy or sad, angry, nervous, worried, confused, scared, excited, jealous, shy, embarrassed, disturbed, or surprised? If you have a hard time finding the right word, use a list of feelings or emotions to help you.

Learn to know your emotions. Ask questions like: How big is this feeling? Where in my body do I feel it? How does my body feel? What does this feeling make me do? What made me feel this way? Where did this feeling come from?

Think about what happened to make you feel this way. It's okay if you don't know the answer right away. You can still talk about it. For example, you can say: "I'm sad, but I don't know why."

Practice talking about your feelings. Try to put what you feel and why you feel it into these sentences:

I feel _____ because ____________.

I feel ______ when ____________.

Talk to someone about your feelings. Choose a person whom you feel comfortable with. It could be a friend, a parent, a teacher, or a relative. Find a suitable time and say you want to chat. Tell them how you feel and why. 

Talking about your feelings really helps you. Talking about how you feel and why will help you adjust and feel better. Sometimes talking makes your feelings less disturbing and scary. Talking helps you feel that you are not alone with your worries.

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